Family Relationships

ELCA Premarriage Weekend Overview

Last Updated on Saturday, 01 August 2009 19:48

Congratulations on your engagement! Cedarbrook is proud to be a part of the premarriage preparation for ELCA members in the Brainerd Lakes area.

premarriage weekend graphic

Love has brought the two of you together. During the Premarriage Weekend we hope to give you some time to discover even deeper aspects of that love and help you develop skills to nurture and care for your relationship. Right now you may believe that nothing could ever shake your love for each other. But stresses do impact all marriages and we hope our Premarriage Weekend can help you grow closer together and give you skills to innoculate you from some of the stresses of marital life.

The cost for the weekend is $250 per couple. However, you can get a discount of $70 if you complete the 3 steps below by the first day of the month in which your weekend will be held (i.e. September 1st for the Fall Weekend, March 1st for the Spring Weekend).  You will also receive a certificate of completion which will give you a discount of $70 on your marriage license.  If you register early the total out-of-pocket cost can be only $110 per couple.

1) Read about inviting your parents or a supportive couple to the Friday evening supper.  Then click here to register online and RSVP with the number of "parents" who will be attending the Friday night supper.

2) Make check payable to Cedarbrook Center for $180 (or $250 after September 1st or March 1st) and mail to:

ELCA Premarriage Weekend
c/o Cedarbrook Center
PO Box 2633
Baxter, MN 56425
Registration is complete only upon receipt of payment on a first-come, first-served basis. Sometimes the weekends fill early, so act soon.
3). Both of you need to complete the Myers-Briggs inventory. More information is here. You will be emailed complete directions and login information once you register.

Remember, complete each of the above steps by the first day of the month in which your weekend will be held for a nice discount.

We pray that your preparation for your life together will be a blessing for your marriage. If there is any way we can help, now or in the future, know that we will be there.

Blessings and Peace,

o Pastors Andy Smith & Kristen Oltmann~ First Lutheran
o Pastors Mark Skinner & Ivy Borgstrom ~ Bethlehem Lutheran
o Pastors Darrel Pedersen & Erika Nilsen ~ Lord of Life Lutheran
o Pastor Carl Larson ~ Rejoice Lutheran
o Pastor Blaine McNeil ~ Bethel Lutheran
o Jerry Jensen, MA, LP ~ Retreat Facilitator

Premarriage Weekend Agenda

Last Updated on Saturday, 01 August 2009 12:57

Here is an agenda for the Premarriage Weekend. Please note that this is not a sleep-over weekend as in the past--you will go home each evening. Please make sleeping arrangements with friends or family if you live out-of-town.

Tentative Agenda

Friday Evening

6:00 PM -- Arrive
6:30 PM -- Supper with parents, supportive friends, or relatives.
7:30 PM -- Celebrating Differences & Overview of Myers-Briggs
9:30 PM -- Evening Devotional
10:15 PM Free time

Saturday

8:00 AM -- Juice and rolls (eat breakfast at home)
8:15 AM -- Morning prayer/bible study
8:45 AM -- Morning sessions and breaks
Noon     -- Lunch & Free-time
1:00 PM -- Afternoon sessions and breaks
6:00 PM -- Devotional
6:30 PM -- Dinner with parents, friends, relatives at home or restaurant of your choice

Sunday Morning

Worship at your church--special recognition and prayer.

Church Address
 
The location of your Premarriage Weekend will be included in your registration confirmation.  Each weekend is held at a different host church.  Addresses of host churches are:
 
418 NE 8th Ave.
Brainerd, MN 56401
218-829-3330

424 S. 8th Street
Brainerd, MN 56401
(218) 829-9552
 
6190 Fairview Rd
Baxter, MN 56425
Phone: 218-828-9374

Parents or Guest Couples Involvement

Last Updated on Saturday, 01 August 2009 12:09

We often think of a wedding as "our special day". That may be true, but it is also an important day for those who love and care about you.

A wedding is one special day, a marriage lasts a life time. One of the most important ingredients in helping your marriage last a life time is the support of family and friends. Most of the time on your Premarriage Weekend will involve just you and your future spouse. There are three opportunities for participation of some of those who will support you in your marriage together.

  1. The opening dinner on Friday from 6 - 7:30 PM.  Each couple may invite up to four guests. Suggested guests include your parents, grandparents or other friends or relatives who are special and will support you in your life together as a couple.  From now on we'll refer to these special support couples as "parents".  When you register, you will be asked for the number of "parents" attending the Friday supper.  Please let us know how many will attend so we can have enough food.
  2. Saturday evening dinner at a restaurant of your choice (or home). Maybe those you invited for Friday will treat you to dinner. We will have some "homework" questions for you to discuss with them.
  3. Sunday morning worship at your church. There will be special recognition and prayer for you as a couple and other neat stuff.

Myers-Briggs Inventory Directions

Last Updated on Saturday, 01 August 2009 11:58

On the weekend we will look at interaction styles using the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI). The MBTI is an on-line instrument -- not a test -- there are no right or wrong answers. It takes 30 to 50 minutes to complete and needs to be finished before the weekend. (For a discount on your registration fee, complete it before the 1st of the month.)

Directions for completing the MBTI instrument will be emailed to you after you register. Answer the questions while thinking about yourself the way you prefer to be--NOT the way you perform at work or when you "have to".  For example, at work you may be very punctual and structured -- good for you. But your life preferences might be to be flexible with time, and flexible about plans. Answer the Myers-Briggs questions thinking about your preferences (what you'd rather do) NOT about your performance (what you can do).

What you should know about the Myers-Briggs:

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an "indicator", rather than a "test". It is described this way to avoid connotations of "right" or "wrong", "good" or "bad" in completing the instrument. The MBTI theory and philosophy is that all 16 Types are "good"- since all types are equal, there is no best type. The MBTI instrument sorts for preferences and does not measure trait, ability, or character. The MBTI tool is different from many other psychological instruments and personality tests.

How is the MBTI instrument different from other psychological instruments?

  • The MBTI instrument does not evaluate mental health; there are no bad or unhealthy results.
  • The MBTI instrument sorts individuals into opposite categories, both of which are desirable.
  • The MBTI instrument does not compare your results to any normal or pathological standard.
  • The MBTI instrument allows you to determine your own personality type through a personal verification process, leaving the final assessment of your type in your hands.

Adapted from Building People, Building Programs
by Gordon Lawrence and Charles Gorden (CAPT 2001)

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